Parents. They are not perfect, and there may be times that parents may be overbearing in the minds of their kids. As young adults we want to be independent from our parents. We want to make our own decisions. there comes a time when we don’t want to be parented anymore. We think we know it all.

However, let’s not forget that our parents made mistakes too. Mistakes that they want to try to protect us from. Mistakes that they want us to learn from. They have very good intentions in thinking this way and doing. And someday, you may look back and say to yourself, I was loved because of it all.

No. My parents weren’t perfect while raising my brothers and me. They were learning how to be parents while we kids were learning the ways of life. Life is a learning experience for everyone.

Life…when you start losing people close to you, life becomes more and more precious. For some people, you may even begin to truly appreciate those around you more. Maybe even begin to absorb each and every moment with loved ones because you realize just how short life is.

Looking back, I realize that my dad wasn’t just a hero, he was my hero. 

How He Came To Be

My mom gave birth to me at a young age. It was in the 70’s and she was unwed (more about that in another blog post), so some of you can imagine how that went. However, when all was said and done, here I am. But my biological father had other plans for his life and one thing led to another; he and my mom had a fight and they were no more. [Just a little side note, my bio-dad and I are friends and he and my mom and really good friends]. 

Don’t quote me on how my mom and dad met, but I believe my mom was hanging out with one of her friends who knew my dad or she was hanging out with my dads younger sister. Either way, my dad pulled up on a motorcycle and one thing let to another. They started dating. I was a year old at the time. My mom was around 20 and my dad was around 24. Six months later they got married. 

Pre-Marriage

From what my mom told me, my dads side of the family was a little skeptical. Here is this young man in his early to mid twenties who has an entire life ahead of him and yet he wants to be with a young woman who already has a one year old…in the 70’s! I guess my dads parents quizzed him on the situation. The one question that really stood out to me that my mom told me they asked him was if he was ready for an instant family. He immediately said yes. Many young men (some older men) want nothing to do with their own child, but my dad wanted to take me in as if I was his own.

 After The Wedding

Immediately following their wedding day, my dad filed adoption papers to adopt me so I can take on his last name. I was told that as soon as he saw me he loved me and he certainly did not want me growing up without a father. He wanted to take on that responsibility himself. 

I just keep thinking about how young he was and wanting to be with a woman younger than he was who had a baby. That was a man who stepped up and wanted to take on the responsibility of instant fatherhood. I became his “punkin”. I can still hear his voice as he called out “punkin” when he spoke to me. It was a soft and loving tone.

Side note: 

My stepmom recently told me that when she asked her son what it’s like having girls versus boys, he said the word “soft”. She then proceeded to tell me that she remembered that every time my dad spoke about me, his tone became softer. After she told me that I got choked up. Especially since it was less than a week that he passed when she told me. 

Growing Up

Looking back, my brothers and I had an amazing childhood. My dad was the provider and my mom stayed home to raise us. When we got a little older my dad took us fishing, camping, biking…just stepping out and enjoying nature. You can read more about this in my blog post called “His Influences”.

I remember going somewhere in Ohio (I don’t remember where we were) that we have been to a couple of years in a row. While sitting in the bleachers (I do remember that) I saw Cedar Point in the distance and a roller coaster in action. As a child I was curious and wanted to see what all the hype was about. My dad saw the look of excitement on my face when I saw the roller coaster. That was when he said that we were too young to go to the amusement park. So I became sad and upset and began not having a good time in whatever it was we were doing at that moment (again, I don’t remember what that was).

Well, he did not like that so he said it was time to go. We all got into the van and dad started driving. But we weren’t going home. Dad surprised us by going to Cedar Point! Of course at this time it was later so the sun was going down, but we ended up riding a couple of kid friendly rides. We had a blast! But that was my dad. He always wanted us to be happy and healthy. And yes. After that year we ended up going to Cedar Point a few more years as a family. Soooo much fun!

Life Lessons

Dad was always there for us when it came to showing us love, hard work, and taking responsibility. He worked 55 hours per week and never called off. Well, maybe a couple of times in his life, but overall, he enjoyed working. During his life raising us he instilled hard work and owning up to responsibility. 

Work Life

Even when he owned his own business he had one of my brothers working for him during the summer as a machinist. My brother was in high school at this time which is why it was only summer work. To this day my brother is still a machinist while supporting his own family... Just like our dad.

My youngest brother took a different route as an engineer in the IT field. He also takes care of his household along side his wife who works in IT as well 

As for me, I took the entrepreneur route like my dad, but designing fine jewelry. Completely different field than my dad, but still the entrepreneur mind set.

Home Life

Dad also taught us how to take care of our homes such as fixing things ourselves to save money and building things we need if resources allow us to. For instance, my brother renovated the entire inside of his house by himself. Sure it took him a year of constant hard work. But inbetween his kids sports practices and games, he worked on his house. All thanks to my dad showing my us that we can do anything once we put our minds to it.

For myself, I can figure out how to put anything together if I have a plan. For example, I needed a desk and bookshelves for my bedroom. So my dad and I purchased the material and together we build a desk and bookshelves. It was such an amazing time spent with my dad.

He also taught us the value of a dollar. Going back to purchasing material for my desk and bookshelves, my dad first sat me down and went over how much it will cost and that if this was something I really wanted to do, I will have to budget and save for it. So I did. At this time I was in my teens and making my own money so it was the perfect time for this lesson. Through many situations like this growing up, I learned how to manage my money.

 My Gratitude

Dad, I just want to say thank you for everything you did for us...for me. Not only did you adopt me, but you treated me as if I had your DNA. You became my dad and I became your daughter at first sight. You are my dad. You provided for me, you protected me, you loved me, you made sure I had everything I needed to be successful in life; a strong mind, a strong will, an independent woman. I thank you for that. 

My only regret is that I wish I had told you sooner how appreciative I am now and always will be. We will see each other again someday. Until then, I will always think of you and always miss you. And I know you are watching over your family; guiding us like you have always done. Your memory will live on in our hearts and through my jewelry pieces. You inspired me to do what I do today.

I love you, dad. RIP.